Shit. Crap. Bummer. Pain in the ass.
So much of our frustration in life can be expressed in rectal terms, which I think reveals a lot about the source of mortals' suffering.
And it certainly encompasses the source of my misery. About a week and a half ago, I noticed bright blood in the toilet and a sharp pain in my ass. Since then, my life has been hell. I apparently have an anal fissure. It feels like a match is lit under me, or a razor blade is stabbing into me. (Luckily, the pain is intermittent, so I'm not in total agony all the time.) I waited a couple of days, thinking it was just an overactive hemorrhoid leftover from the days when I still passed poop, but when the pain became so bad that it was waking me up at night, I contacted my doctor. He prescribed this ointment, which helps a little.
I knew this fissure was all bad news, since my second surgery was just over a week away. I knew that having a J-pouch would mean I'd be passing soft stools frequently, especially in the beginning. This surgery was going to be rough anyway, but with an anal fissure aggravating me, it would be worse. So I worried, but thought I might get better in time. I am apparently delusional, because everything you read says fissures take 4-6 weeks to heal-- unless they're chronic and never really go away.
Then a couple of days later, I got a call from the surgeon's nurse. My doctor (being a good doctor) had evidently tattled on me to my surgeon, and the surgeon wanted to see me before the surgery. I felt like a delinquent being called into the principals' office.
So on Friday I drove out to Chapel Hill to learn my fate. Sure enough, my surgery got cancelled, but even worse, the doctor hinted that this might be a sign that I actually have Crohn's disease. If I do, then it would be a bad idea to get a jpouch, and I should keep my ileostomy and bag for life.
Needless to say, this was pretty depressing news. Stupid asshole.
So much of our frustration in life can be expressed in rectal terms, which I think reveals a lot about the source of mortals' suffering.
And it certainly encompasses the source of my misery. About a week and a half ago, I noticed bright blood in the toilet and a sharp pain in my ass. Since then, my life has been hell. I apparently have an anal fissure. It feels like a match is lit under me, or a razor blade is stabbing into me. (Luckily, the pain is intermittent, so I'm not in total agony all the time.) I waited a couple of days, thinking it was just an overactive hemorrhoid leftover from the days when I still passed poop, but when the pain became so bad that it was waking me up at night, I contacted my doctor. He prescribed this ointment, which helps a little.I knew this fissure was all bad news, since my second surgery was just over a week away. I knew that having a J-pouch would mean I'd be passing soft stools frequently, especially in the beginning. This surgery was going to be rough anyway, but with an anal fissure aggravating me, it would be worse. So I worried, but thought I might get better in time. I am apparently delusional, because everything you read says fissures take 4-6 weeks to heal-- unless they're chronic and never really go away.
Then a couple of days later, I got a call from the surgeon's nurse. My doctor (being a good doctor) had evidently tattled on me to my surgeon, and the surgeon wanted to see me before the surgery. I felt like a delinquent being called into the principals' office.
So on Friday I drove out to Chapel Hill to learn my fate. Sure enough, my surgery got cancelled, but even worse, the doctor hinted that this might be a sign that I actually have Crohn's disease. If I do, then it would be a bad idea to get a jpouch, and I should keep my ileostomy and bag for life.
Needless to say, this was pretty depressing news. Stupid asshole.
