Bouncy Party

We were invited to Sophia's (my coworker's daughter) birthday party, being held at PumpItUp, a place with indoor inflatables.  Alice has been exposed to bouncy houses on several occassions, but only worked up the courage to go down a large slide one time.  At this place, she was hesitant at first, but since there were so few people there and I could go on the stuff too, she eventually warmed up and had a blast.

She conquered the slide first, although the first time she sat in my lap to go down it.

She liked this game, mainly because she could hoard all the ribbons.

She had some trouble on the obstacle course because she always chose the middle, and most challenging, path on the climbing wall, and would get stuck.

Here she is, sitting next to the birthday girl.  I thought she would freak out about a group photo, but I think her herd instinct kicked in, and she just did what the other kids did.  She seems better at following along with others than when she is singled out (like at her own birthday).

Although most of the time Alice doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, she loves frosting like a zombie loves brains.

Rides

I used to be annoyed by the existence of these carts (because I was curmudgeonly like that) but now I get it.  Alice was so happy.  I felt like I was really earning my mom credentials pushing this beast around the store (beast being the cart, not my daughter...at least not that morning.)

Alice is having a blast; Simon looks terrified.

Formula

Nursing Simon started out so great--he seemed better at it than Alice was.  Then in December I got plugged ducts on the less productive side, and it never seemed to really recover, and Simon hated nursing on that side.  I pumped, but over the months, it has kind of fizzled out and I'm officially letting it die off now that I'm not at work pumping 5 days a week.

Since we introduced food in Simon's diet and my right side became less productive, around January, my supply has been dropping, so at the end there we topped off his bottles for daycare with alimentum, a hypoallergenic formula (because earlier he was diagnosed with a milk allergy).  Most kids outgrow their allergy by around age one, so the doctor said I could start experimenting on him from time to time.  I didn't want to do this while he was still in daycare though, since I couldn't trust the teachers there to pay attention to his poop and any other signs of a reaction.

I had been lightening up on my own dietary restrictions, though, such as eating cheese on pizza, and Simon had shown no ill-effects.  Since he's been home this week, I started drinking milk, still with no discernible effect on him.  To further the experiment, I gave him a bottle of formula, which he promptly guzzled down.  Then I watched and waited anxiously, thinking every twitch, sneeze, or cough, was an allergic reaction.  But he actually seemed fine.  So unless something manifests later, we are operating under the assumption he no longer has a milk allergy.

Since Simon can drink normal formula now (the alimentum was prohibitively expensive and not as healthy as even regular formula, let alone breast milk) I'm really going to try to phase out nursing.  Alice self-weaned rather abruptly a few days before her first birthday, so I'm hoping something similar will happen with Simon.
Nursing is just annoying these days anyway.   Sometimes he'll nurse just long enough to get the milk really flowing, then turn away. If he sees something interesting out of the corner of his eye, he will even try to crawl away.  He is often more interested in the ceiling fan than nursing.   The one time he really loves to nurse, though, is around 4:00 am.  Sigh.

The really annoying part about bottle feeding is that Simon is very specific about temperature.  Even if he's so hungry he's crying, he will refuse a bottle unless it's warm enough.  So I'm definitely going to have to work on this now, too.  Summer goals: Get the boy to eat, sit, and drink cold milk.

Stay-at-home Mom

For the past two days, I've been a stay-at-home mom.  I'll be honest, I was dreading the summer.  I like the stimulation of work, and the control that I have there (for me, 16-year-olds are easier than little kids --but that's probably because I'm not their mom).  I am able to think clearly and operate in a rational world at work.  Whereas at home, I have a child that wants to play in the dishwasher.

Zac remembers the misery of that first summer I stayed home with Alice, and in the weeks leading up to summer break, would occasionally ask skeptically, "How much money do we save by taking the kids out of daycare?" in a way that indicated my sanity was much more valuable, perhaps even priceless.

But I was determined to proceed with my plan: Simon home every day, and Alice at home on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  My reasoning was this:  Poor Simon has been woefully neglected and I need some serious one-on-one time with him, if for no other reason than to teach this child to eat and to sit.  Plus, I felt horrible all those mornings we sent him off to daycare when he had a cold or was fussy, knowing that he wouldn't get all the love and attention he deserved.  I was also keeping Alice home two days a week for Simon's benefit.  I figure I am kind of boring, but with Alice home some days he would have lots of entertainment, and little kids love watching other little kids.

Well, Monday and Tuesday proved my hypothesis correct.  Although I'm only two days in, I'm feeling good and quite optimistic about the summer.  On Monday, I did my version of food therapy and got Simon to eat a whole slice of banana (cut into itty bitty bits, but seriously--no small feat).  I practiced having him sit, but he still doesn't seem to understand the point of it and soon crawls away.  I mean, why would one stay stationary and so far above one's toys?  He just doesn't get it.

Then on Tuesday, we had great fun playing outside in the morning.  Video evidence below:

Plus, I think it will help Alice and Simon's relationship to spend more time together.  Alice can be quite possessive of her toys around Simon.  Here she is laying on a pile of toys to keep him from getting them:

But sometimes she does quite well, and I think if they're together more they'll figure it out.  Simon will learn to play with some other toys, and/or Alice will learn that he only plays with something for a few seconds anyway.  In the incident pictured above, I did not intervene, and Alice solved the problem herself: she offered up a sacrificial dinosaur, which Simon examined for a moment then wandered off.

Plus, I long ago figured out the secret to happy parenting: have nothing else to do.  During the school year, this is problematic because the weekends are harried and the weeknights hectic, since we have to cook dinner, pack lunches, do laundry, keep our house reasonably clean, and go places.  However, these summer days are days where there is nothing I have to do, so I can really be present and just enjoy the kids.  It's been enjoyable for two days, anyway! 

Bed time routine

The bedtime routine is always evolving and after we make a change it can be hard to remember what we used to do.  So here is the typical order of events as of June 2014.

The bedtime routine starts when Sera's watch alarm beeps at 7:15 and we say it is time for Alice to watch Dinosaur Train and eat her 'bednight' snack.  Alice then wraps up her play, runs to the refrigerator to get out a yogurt (currently Dora-themed), gets a spoon out of the drawer and then climbs into her chair.  In the meantime Sera or I get the laptop and open Netflix to start an episode of Dinosaur Train. The video/snack combination is apparently quite compelling and Alice rarely needs much coaxing.  We count this as one of our successes as parents as we have largely avoided the drama and negotiation often associated with getting kids into bed.

While Alice watches her video I grab Simon and give him a bath and Sera gets Simon's bed ready (water filled, nightlights on, etc.) and gets the daycare bags prepared for the next day.  Simon's bath normally finishes at the same time as Alice's video.  Alice then comes into the bathroom and we convince her to take her clothes off and hop on the potty.  Sera and I switch kids as she takes Simon into his room to get dressed and fed and put to bed.  While Alice uses the potty I snip the rubber band out of her hair.  Right after Alice gets into the bath I wash her hair and face.

While Alice is in the bath I get her bed ready, refill her water, turn on her nightlight and get her pajamas ready.  I also get her nighttime diaper out.  We started using name brand overnight diapers a long time ago when she kept saturating the regular diapers and waking up with a wet bed and pajamas.  Each pack contains diapers alternately decorated with characters from Monsters Inc., Toy Story and Cars. Alice has only ever seen the Cars characters in action and so the diapers with Mater and Lightning McQueen are highly valued.  She will tolerate the lesser diapers only if she is satisfied that there are no "Mater diapers" available.

Some nights Alice will play in the bath for a long time.  I will brush my teeth, play games on my phone, read a book or do chores.  When she is done with her bath Alice climbs out and I dry her off.  We then put her pajamas on. This is much easier in the summer as she now sleeps in only a diaper and a nightgown (she finally switched over on June 5th when it was 85 degrees int he house.  The night before she had slept with her winter jammies partially unzipped).  The winter PJ's were more difficult because A) there were three pieces of clothing instead of one B) it was cold and C) there was more than one way to put on the footie pajamas (feet first, hands first, easy foot first, hard foot first, standing, sitting, on my lap, in the bedroom, in the bathroom, in the hall, etc.) and she would often protest and/or try to help if things weren't happening as she liked.

After she is dressed I brush her teeth and hair.  A long time ago I would just brush her teeth while she was in the bath.  At first (when she was a baby) she squirmed and fought but it eventually became a tolerated part of the routine.  After a few months she decided that she wanted to help and then would hold the brush as I moved it; this was fine when she didn't try to move it herself.  But she often did move it herself and would regularly end up being poked as we fought over control.  The toothpaste was safe to swallow but at some point I wanted to get her used to spitting so we could eventually buy some with fluoride.  At first I tried getting Alice to spit over the edge of the tub but it wasn't too long before we had her stand at the sink.   When she became better at spitting I bought fluoride toothpaste which she rejected because of the new taste.  I tried other brands and she rejected them all and we ended up with four different tubes.  Now she likes all the different flavors and will insist on using all of them every night.  We have also evolved to the point where she "brushes" her teeth by herself and then I brush them.  She is getting better and better at the brushing herself part.

Here's a video from one night recently:

After the teeth are brushed and her mouth is rinsed it is time to read three books.  Then she wants vaseline on her nose and lotion on her hands (routines started in winter when that made more sense then.)  After that, she roles over and snuggles for a minute while you scratch her back.  Then she'll whisper, "Put me in my crib, please" and you deposit her there, make sure all the toys are up by her pillow, cover her with her blanky, scratch her back one more time, then go out the door.

11 months old today!

Father's Day: Scuba Diving and Creek Stomping

For father's day this year, we planned to do a creek stomp, just like we did last year.  However, we didn't tell Alice our specific plans because whenever she knows she's going near a body of water, she insists on bringing all of her "fishing supplies." She ate her breakfast of a banana and cheerios quickly and didn't want any of the yogurt and strawberry filled crepes that Zac and I were having, so she entertained herself by rummaging through kitchen drawers and wandering around the house.  She was doing a good job entertaining herself, so we didn't pay much attention to her.  However, when we had finally finished breakfast and packed up everything (snacks, water, change of clothes) and told her it was time to leave for the hike, she had a breakdown.  Evidently, she had filled in the vagueness of our destination with the idea that we were going scuba diving (she had learned about it at school a couple days ago).  I'll let the video take it from here:

We explained that she was not big enough for scuba diving yet, and that going on the hike would also be fun.  We distracted her partly by having her try out the green child-carrier backpack that we used to take her on hikes with when she was younger.  Usually we make her walk on the hikes, but often times Zac will end up carrying her part of the way when she gets tired.  Plus, we wanted her to have more energy for the creek.

Alice could not have been happier riding in the backpack! 

By carrying both kids, we got down to the creek in under twenty minutes.  Alice was eager to get in, but she stayed pretty close to Zac, especially at the beginning.

There was a nice path next to the creek where I could walk with Simon and watch the fun.

We soon came to a lovely spot where we decided to let Simon out to play.  He needs to hurry up and learn to walk though, because he's missing out on a lot by being stuck on all fours.

Simon got tuckered out quickly, and it was well past time for his morning nap, so we changed him into dry clothes and I nursed him, then we put him back in his carrying pouch, where he promptly fell asleep.  I thought a little snooze in the woods sounded like a great idea too, so I laid down and we both had a little nap while Zac and Alice walked around the creek some more.

When Zac and Alice returned, Alice decided she was ready to "take a snack."  We always bring these fruit pouches with us as a quick and easy no-crumb snack.  Alice loves the fruity slurry, and will often willingly head back to the van after and outing if she knows she can have one there.  We've tried them on Simon a couple of times with no luck, but today he finally achieved the fruit pouch competency.  Alice had her first one by this same river two years ago, so I like to think we are a family with strong traditions.

We eventually packed up and headed out, with one very tired little girl.

Happy father's day!

Goodbye, Laura

Saturday was another momentous day in our lives and in this action-packed weekend.  We had our last dinner with Laura before she moves back to DC, having completed her PhD in 3 years (darn her!)  I had told Alice that Laura would moving to another city and wouldn't live in Raleigh, North Carolina anymore.  Before bed, Alice asked Laura to read her the bedtime books.   Although we forgot to take any pictures of supper, Zac did remember to take a picture at the end of the night, to contrast with the one from three years ago when she came to visit NC State.

June 2014

March 2011 (Sera 6 months pregnant with Alice)

So this is three...

On Saturday morning, Zac and Alice went to the grocery store.  While Simon napped, I prepared a slightly early Father's Day present for Zac: clearing all the crap out of the pool (it had been our toy storage on the porch all winter and Zac had been grumbling about being tired of looking at it).  I had bought a basket that matched the porch furniture to store the porch toys in, more out of sight.  Then I put the pool under the porch.  When Zac and Alice got back from the store, Zac didn't even notice, so I had to tell him about it.  We let Alice wander in and out of the house relatively freely these days, and so about five minutes later I went to check on her, and this is what I saw:

I was impressed for a couple of reasons.  First of all, she had overheard me telling Zac about the pool and then hatched a plan all by herself.  But more importantly, she executed the plan all by herself.  She drug the pool out from under the porch, took it to within reach of the water barrel hose, gathered some toys from the new basket, took off her shoes, turned on the hose, and entertained herself.

Alice's Birthday

Friday the 13th was a big day for us this year.  Alice turned three, it was Sera's last day of work for the school year, and Simon's last day of daycare for the summer (Alice will be going part-time).

Alice has been anticipating her birthday for months.  She sees her friends at school have birthdays and she goes to birthday parties, so she has a good idea of what it entails: cake, candles, and presents.  But it turns out she has formed some other ideas of birthday requirements, too.  At breakfast, when I said, "OK, birthday girl, get in your chair so you can eat your cheerios," she said, "But wait, where's the traffic cone for my head?"  It took me a moment, but then I realized she was referring to the cone-shaped party hats.  Zac and I looked at each other nervously, and explained she didn't need a party hat to eat breakfast.

We had prepared the cake, candles and presents, but had overlooked the party hats. I did a quick calculation: It was my last teacher workday at school, and I only had a few things left to do, so if I left work around 1pm, I could have time to stop at the party store and still get home in time to unload my plants from the van, clean up, lay out the presents, and bring the cupcakes (and party hats) to her daycare by 3pm for her birthday celebration there.  

One thing I've learned in the past three years, but especially this last year, is how much one can accomplish under pressure at the last minute.  I used to plan and prepare a lot more, but now I'm getting pretty good at adapting and doing things on the fly.  Alice isn't the only one who's grown a lot this year; living on the schedule of tiny tyrants has resulted in a lot of growth in the parents, too. 

Before having kids, I didn't think I'd be the type of mom to run to the store and get party hats, but today I learned that I am. I think the part that I didn't fully understand until I had kids of my own is just how much fun it is to give joy to them.  Plus, Zac and I were feeling a little bad because Alice goes to birthday parties but hasn't had one for herself yet.  Leading up to her birthday, she kept talking about all her friends coming over, and we had to manage expectations and let her know that it was just going to be us and Laura.  I guess I figured that if all her friends at daycare wore party hats while eating cupcakes, she would feel like she had a birthday party.

It was with this last minute-planning that we began our epic day.  It was the beginning of life with a three-year-old, but also the end of the year which, we tell ourselves, would be our toughest year ever.

The morning routine is that after dropping Simon off in the baby room, Zac and Alice walk up the back path to her room, passing an old playground.  Since Simon is staying home for the summer, this morning was the last walk for six weeks, so Zac let Alice play more than usual.  She's wearing a random purple hat that someone (Liz Besant?) got her when she was much younger, and her favorite yellow dress (also from great-aunt Liz).  She's holding her show-and-share toy (a red plastic fire truck hand-me-down from her cousins) and three sticks.  She loves to carry sticks.

She is always really proud when she can get up and stand on this tunnel by herself.

Meanwhile, I scurried through my last duties at work: entering grades, packing up my plants, and of course, one final pump.  I am so glad to be done with that!

 

Then I went to the party store.  Alice is really into dinosaurs right now, so I was hoping to find some dinosaur hats, and possibly a balloon.  When I entered the store, and clearly looked bewildered, an assistant asked what I was looking for.  I said, "Three-year-old birthday party."  She then asked, "Girl or boy?"  Since Alice is a girl, I answered girl, but she must have thought it strange that I had paused for a moment before answering.  Obviously I know Alice is a girl, but I also suspected, in that moment, that the dinosaur-themed party items would be in the boys' section.  Why, oh why, must they always divide kids' stuff by gender?  She showed me to the girls section, which consisted of napkins and plates with butterflies, ladybugs, and princesses.  I wandered around the store until I found the boys' section, consisting of Thomas the Tank Engine, sports, machines, and of course, dinosaurs.  Sigh.  This made me sad because although Alice is oblivious to this now, there may come a day when peer pressure and society start to get through to her and she may stop having some really cool interests merely because someone somewhere decided that those things are for boys.

My check-out clerk was the same lady who had directed me to the girls' section, and she seemed a bit sheepish as I had clearly selected items from the boys' section.  She said something about, "Oh, I should have showed you that area too," and had I been on the ball, I would have taken a moment to suggest that perhaps the shop should just have a "children's birthday party" section all in one area, since obviously some girls are going to like machines, trains, sports, and dinosaurs.  But I was more concerned, at that moment, with getting out the door and on my way.

I got home, unloaded the plants, cleaned up the living room a bit, and laid out Alice's presents and giant dinosaur balloon so she could be surprised when she came in the door.

Then, cupcakes in hand, it was off to daycare to witness the "around the sun" ceremony that Montessori schools do.  Alice had been talking about this all year, as she saw all her friends do the ceremony.  (She did it last year too, but doesn't seem to remember).  Initially, only I planned on attending, but she also wanted Zac, and then she also wanted Simon to be there (which I thought was really sweet).  So we all trooped in, while the kids were sitting in circle time doing show-and-share.  Then the teachers prepare for Alice's around the sun ceremony, and Alice started to get shy.  Ms. Saffa offered to take the video for us (notice her interesting cinematographic approach to the subject), so you can see how that went:

But she soon recovered, and the teachers helped pass out the party hats and cupcakes.  The kids loved the dinosaurs and Alice returned to normal.

We had driven there separately, so Zac and Simon got home first, and Zac was ready to record Alice's reaction when she walked in the door (unfortunately his phone died after about 20 seconds, so it's super short):

What amazed both Zac and I about her reaction was that she started to say something else "Daddy-" but without skipping a beat she transitioned to telling him about the dinosaur balloon.  She almost doesn't seem surprised.

Zac had painstakingly wrapped up two toy dinosaurs so they still maintained the shape of a dinosaur.  Alice was thrilled.

Here's a video of her unwrapping some things (including the second dinosaur): 

After (to be contrasted with picture from above of all the presents neatly wrapped).

For her birthday, Alice got some art supplies, play-doh, books, stamps, two toy dinosaurs, and a toy remote control car (which both she and Simon are kind of afraid of).  Alice wanted to play with the play-doh first.

Then we had pizza and smoothies for supper.

Then it was time for cake!  You can see how she gets shy when we sing to her.  Maybe she just doesn't like being the ceremonial focus?  I like to believe this is a good thing, that she has some instinct that would have protected her from ending up like Mummy Juanita.

Simon did not like having a traffic cone on his head.

All in all, a great, momentous, happy day!

Waking up three!

Our tradition is to take a movie of Alice waking up on her birthday.  Here she is, waking up THREE!



To see how much she's changed, here she is waking up TWO:



And waking up ONE:

The Saddest Day

Today is the last day Alice will be two years old.  In my family, my dad always calls the day before one's birthday "The Saddest Day."  As a kid growing up, I was familiar with the tradition, but of course when you're little you can't wait to be a year older, so The Saddest Day was only sad because it seemed to go by so slowly, as I eagerly awaited my birthday.

But, now I'm a parent, and I get it.  It's the saddest day because I will never have a little 2-year-old daughter again.  It's sad because although the days are long, the years are short and my little girl is growing up.  Although most days I look forward to this, to her not needing constant supervision during supper, to her one day being able to get dressed by herself, to her realizing that it's not a good idea to poke her brother with her whisks before she does it, to her understanding that finding a new towel doesn't mean she should put her old one in the trash can, I do enjoy so much about her being little, even how she proudly discusses her poop.

Sometimes she'll say something, like tonight during a story where she pointed at a bird with two black spots and declared, "That's a cow bird.  See the two black spots?" (because on a previous page I had said "That's a red-winged blackbird.  See the red wing?") that makes me think she's brilliant and knows so much for her mere three years on earth. But other times I think of all the things in the world she has no idea about yet.  Sometimes this is exciting (Someday we'll take her camping!  She's gonna love climbing mountains!) and other times it is terrifying (Someday she'll learn about all the horrible ways humans abuse each other! No!  Let her stay young and innocent forever!).

Birthdays are a reminder of both of those things, the good and the bad, that awaits a child growing up in this world.  But the really neat thing is that we as parents get to go along for the journey.  It's a way to experience the joys and sorrows of childhood, but this time with the equanimity of adulthood.  Having her has been a journey, a project, better than fun.

Here is a picture of us on this day three years ago, right before going to the hospital, before our lives changed forever:

And here are two (long) videos of her this morning, her last morning as a two year old:

To see how much she has changed in a year, here is the video from the day before she turned two:

Facebook

I was sitting on the potty reading a book (favorite part of my day) when a naked Alice burst into my bathroom, pointed at the book, said, "Is that Facebook?" and then ran away.

There is no point to this story.  I just wanted to remember the bizarreness of the moment.

In case you were wondering

 

Alice walked around the house for a bit with this cardboard tube held in her snatchers declaring, "This is my dead armpit!"

Swim party

Alice was invited to one of her classmates' birthday party at a local pool on Saturday.  Initially we had all planned to go but Simon came down with a fever, so Sera stayed home with him and just Alice and I attended.   The party took place in the area around the kiddie pool but Alice and I also took a dip in the regular pool.

For the majority of the time there the kids just played in the water while the parents talked with each other.  Occasionally some interference was necessary (for splashing adults or grabbing toys away from each other) but for the most part the we were able to just hang back.  This is super nice as keeping Alice in line is often a full time effort (although this is less true as she gets older). 

The hosts provided a ton of pool toys for the kids to play with; this was great as Alice is a bit of a hoarder.  She spent much of her time collecting toys and figuring out how to stow them on her body.

There were small picnic tables for the kids to sit at while they ate cake and snacks.  It was pretty cute to see them all sitting together.  There are similar tables in Alice's class so they all knew the drill and didn't try and get up while eating.

There was quite a bit of time between when we arrived and when we cut the cake and I tried to get Alice to come with me into the big pool.  She refused and only asked to go in as the party was winding down.  This wasn't a problem except that the pool was then in shade and Alice was already shivering and getting blue lips. I decided to take her for a short swim anyway. We went into the shallow end of the pool and played around a bit.  This was her first foray into a real pool this year and was in a way experiencing swimming for the first time all over again.  She clung to me at first but did quickly walk around a bit on her own.  Had it been warmer and not towards the end of her energy I would have done more of the swimming lesson stuff (head under water, paddling, etc) but as it was we only tried kicking while I supported her belly.  Even though she was clearly uncomfortable it took a bit of convincing to leave the pool without a meltdown.

Play

It is so fun to watch Alice's imagination and creativity develop.  She is always finding new and interesting (and exasperating and troublesome) ways to play.  

We got a hand-me-down play house from my friend from work, and Alice invited me inside and said, "Mommy, do want some wine?" (because that's what Zac says to Laura when she comes to our house) and gave me an imaginary bottle, with I gratefully accepted and glugged down, even although I do not drink wine.  But she was being such a good hostess and it would have been rude to decline.

"I'm a bug."

The couch cushions provide an infinite variety of play.

At the Children's Museum of Alamance County, Alice showed an increased ability to focus on one activity for a long time.  At places like this, she used to just flit from one thing to another, but now she might stay at one station for a quarter hour.

This sandbox used Kinetic Sand, which had the consistency of brown sugar.  She played here a long time, and so did her mother.

She felt such a sense of accomplishment and joy after climbing to the top of this big tower by herself.  You can really see why it is so important to let children take (perceived) risks and face their fears.

When asked about her trip to the children's museum, she reported that her favorite part was "using tools to hammer a noodle." If I hadn't seen it for myself, that sentence would have been nonsensical.

She took Zac's yellow dishwashing gloves, put them on her feet and said, "Look, I'm a duck."

Shoes on her hands

Shoving all her toys in a bucket of water

Box rides in the back yard

Unable to shove her bucket under the stroller for the trip to the neighborhood pond, she solved the problem by putting it on her head.

Eating pudding on her new (hand-me-down) picnic table.

She put two pretzels into her water bottle during snack time on the hike.