Father's Day: Scuba Diving and Creek Stomping

For father's day this year, we planned to do a creek stomp, just like we did last year.  However, we didn't tell Alice our specific plans because whenever she knows she's going near a body of water, she insists on bringing all of her "fishing supplies." She ate her breakfast of a banana and cheerios quickly and didn't want any of the yogurt and strawberry filled crepes that Zac and I were having, so she entertained herself by rummaging through kitchen drawers and wandering around the house.  She was doing a good job entertaining herself, so we didn't pay much attention to her.  However, when we had finally finished breakfast and packed up everything (snacks, water, change of clothes) and told her it was time to leave for the hike, she had a breakdown.  Evidently, she had filled in the vagueness of our destination with the idea that we were going scuba diving (she had learned about it at school a couple days ago).  I'll let the video take it from here:

We explained that she was not big enough for scuba diving yet, and that going on the hike would also be fun.  We distracted her partly by having her try out the green child-carrier backpack that we used to take her on hikes with when she was younger.  Usually we make her walk on the hikes, but often times Zac will end up carrying her part of the way when she gets tired.  Plus, we wanted her to have more energy for the creek.

Alice could not have been happier riding in the backpack! 

By carrying both kids, we got down to the creek in under twenty minutes.  Alice was eager to get in, but she stayed pretty close to Zac, especially at the beginning.

There was a nice path next to the creek where I could walk with Simon and watch the fun.

We soon came to a lovely spot where we decided to let Simon out to play.  He needs to hurry up and learn to walk though, because he's missing out on a lot by being stuck on all fours.

Simon got tuckered out quickly, and it was well past time for his morning nap, so we changed him into dry clothes and I nursed him, then we put him back in his carrying pouch, where he promptly fell asleep.  I thought a little snooze in the woods sounded like a great idea too, so I laid down and we both had a little nap while Zac and Alice walked around the creek some more.

When Zac and Alice returned, Alice decided she was ready to "take a snack."  We always bring these fruit pouches with us as a quick and easy no-crumb snack.  Alice loves the fruity slurry, and will often willingly head back to the van after and outing if she knows she can have one there.  We've tried them on Simon a couple of times with no luck, but today he finally achieved the fruit pouch competency.  Alice had her first one by this same river two years ago, so I like to think we are a family with strong traditions.

We eventually packed up and headed out, with one very tired little girl.

Happy father's day!

Goodbye, Laura

Saturday was another momentous day in our lives and in this action-packed weekend.  We had our last dinner with Laura before she moves back to DC, having completed her PhD in 3 years (darn her!)  I had told Alice that Laura would moving to another city and wouldn't live in Raleigh, North Carolina anymore.  Before bed, Alice asked Laura to read her the bedtime books.   Although we forgot to take any pictures of supper, Zac did remember to take a picture at the end of the night, to contrast with the one from three years ago when she came to visit NC State.

June 2014

March 2011 (Sera 6 months pregnant with Alice)

So this is three...

On Saturday morning, Zac and Alice went to the grocery store.  While Simon napped, I prepared a slightly early Father's Day present for Zac: clearing all the crap out of the pool (it had been our toy storage on the porch all winter and Zac had been grumbling about being tired of looking at it).  I had bought a basket that matched the porch furniture to store the porch toys in, more out of sight.  Then I put the pool under the porch.  When Zac and Alice got back from the store, Zac didn't even notice, so I had to tell him about it.  We let Alice wander in and out of the house relatively freely these days, and so about five minutes later I went to check on her, and this is what I saw:

I was impressed for a couple of reasons.  First of all, she had overheard me telling Zac about the pool and then hatched a plan all by herself.  But more importantly, she executed the plan all by herself.  She drug the pool out from under the porch, took it to within reach of the water barrel hose, gathered some toys from the new basket, took off her shoes, turned on the hose, and entertained herself.

Alice's Birthday

Friday the 13th was a big day for us this year.  Alice turned three, it was Sera's last day of work for the school year, and Simon's last day of daycare for the summer (Alice will be going part-time).

Alice has been anticipating her birthday for months.  She sees her friends at school have birthdays and she goes to birthday parties, so she has a good idea of what it entails: cake, candles, and presents.  But it turns out she has formed some other ideas of birthday requirements, too.  At breakfast, when I said, "OK, birthday girl, get in your chair so you can eat your cheerios," she said, "But wait, where's the traffic cone for my head?"  It took me a moment, but then I realized she was referring to the cone-shaped party hats.  Zac and I looked at each other nervously, and explained she didn't need a party hat to eat breakfast.

We had prepared the cake, candles and presents, but had overlooked the party hats. I did a quick calculation: It was my last teacher workday at school, and I only had a few things left to do, so if I left work around 1pm, I could have time to stop at the party store and still get home in time to unload my plants from the van, clean up, lay out the presents, and bring the cupcakes (and party hats) to her daycare by 3pm for her birthday celebration there.  

One thing I've learned in the past three years, but especially this last year, is how much one can accomplish under pressure at the last minute.  I used to plan and prepare a lot more, but now I'm getting pretty good at adapting and doing things on the fly.  Alice isn't the only one who's grown a lot this year; living on the schedule of tiny tyrants has resulted in a lot of growth in the parents, too. 

Before having kids, I didn't think I'd be the type of mom to run to the store and get party hats, but today I learned that I am. I think the part that I didn't fully understand until I had kids of my own is just how much fun it is to give joy to them.  Plus, Zac and I were feeling a little bad because Alice goes to birthday parties but hasn't had one for herself yet.  Leading up to her birthday, she kept talking about all her friends coming over, and we had to manage expectations and let her know that it was just going to be us and Laura.  I guess I figured that if all her friends at daycare wore party hats while eating cupcakes, she would feel like she had a birthday party.

It was with this last minute-planning that we began our epic day.  It was the beginning of life with a three-year-old, but also the end of the year which, we tell ourselves, would be our toughest year ever.

The morning routine is that after dropping Simon off in the baby room, Zac and Alice walk up the back path to her room, passing an old playground.  Since Simon is staying home for the summer, this morning was the last walk for six weeks, so Zac let Alice play more than usual.  She's wearing a random purple hat that someone (Liz Besant?) got her when she was much younger, and her favorite yellow dress (also from great-aunt Liz).  She's holding her show-and-share toy (a red plastic fire truck hand-me-down from her cousins) and three sticks.  She loves to carry sticks.

She is always really proud when she can get up and stand on this tunnel by herself.

Meanwhile, I scurried through my last duties at work: entering grades, packing up my plants, and of course, one final pump.  I am so glad to be done with that!

 

Then I went to the party store.  Alice is really into dinosaurs right now, so I was hoping to find some dinosaur hats, and possibly a balloon.  When I entered the store, and clearly looked bewildered, an assistant asked what I was looking for.  I said, "Three-year-old birthday party."  She then asked, "Girl or boy?"  Since Alice is a girl, I answered girl, but she must have thought it strange that I had paused for a moment before answering.  Obviously I know Alice is a girl, but I also suspected, in that moment, that the dinosaur-themed party items would be in the boys' section.  Why, oh why, must they always divide kids' stuff by gender?  She showed me to the girls section, which consisted of napkins and plates with butterflies, ladybugs, and princesses.  I wandered around the store until I found the boys' section, consisting of Thomas the Tank Engine, sports, machines, and of course, dinosaurs.  Sigh.  This made me sad because although Alice is oblivious to this now, there may come a day when peer pressure and society start to get through to her and she may stop having some really cool interests merely because someone somewhere decided that those things are for boys.

My check-out clerk was the same lady who had directed me to the girls' section, and she seemed a bit sheepish as I had clearly selected items from the boys' section.  She said something about, "Oh, I should have showed you that area too," and had I been on the ball, I would have taken a moment to suggest that perhaps the shop should just have a "children's birthday party" section all in one area, since obviously some girls are going to like machines, trains, sports, and dinosaurs.  But I was more concerned, at that moment, with getting out the door and on my way.

I got home, unloaded the plants, cleaned up the living room a bit, and laid out Alice's presents and giant dinosaur balloon so she could be surprised when she came in the door.

Then, cupcakes in hand, it was off to daycare to witness the "around the sun" ceremony that Montessori schools do.  Alice had been talking about this all year, as she saw all her friends do the ceremony.  (She did it last year too, but doesn't seem to remember).  Initially, only I planned on attending, but she also wanted Zac, and then she also wanted Simon to be there (which I thought was really sweet).  So we all trooped in, while the kids were sitting in circle time doing show-and-share.  Then the teachers prepare for Alice's around the sun ceremony, and Alice started to get shy.  Ms. Saffa offered to take the video for us (notice her interesting cinematographic approach to the subject), so you can see how that went:

But she soon recovered, and the teachers helped pass out the party hats and cupcakes.  The kids loved the dinosaurs and Alice returned to normal.

We had driven there separately, so Zac and Simon got home first, and Zac was ready to record Alice's reaction when she walked in the door (unfortunately his phone died after about 20 seconds, so it's super short):

What amazed both Zac and I about her reaction was that she started to say something else "Daddy-" but without skipping a beat she transitioned to telling him about the dinosaur balloon.  She almost doesn't seem surprised.

Zac had painstakingly wrapped up two toy dinosaurs so they still maintained the shape of a dinosaur.  Alice was thrilled.

Here's a video of her unwrapping some things (including the second dinosaur): 

After (to be contrasted with picture from above of all the presents neatly wrapped).

For her birthday, Alice got some art supplies, play-doh, books, stamps, two toy dinosaurs, and a toy remote control car (which both she and Simon are kind of afraid of).  Alice wanted to play with the play-doh first.

Then we had pizza and smoothies for supper.

Then it was time for cake!  You can see how she gets shy when we sing to her.  Maybe she just doesn't like being the ceremonial focus?  I like to believe this is a good thing, that she has some instinct that would have protected her from ending up like Mummy Juanita.

Simon did not like having a traffic cone on his head.

All in all, a great, momentous, happy day!

Waking up three!

Our tradition is to take a movie of Alice waking up on her birthday.  Here she is, waking up THREE!



To see how much she's changed, here she is waking up TWO:



And waking up ONE:

The Saddest Day

Today is the last day Alice will be two years old.  In my family, my dad always calls the day before one's birthday "The Saddest Day."  As a kid growing up, I was familiar with the tradition, but of course when you're little you can't wait to be a year older, so The Saddest Day was only sad because it seemed to go by so slowly, as I eagerly awaited my birthday.

But, now I'm a parent, and I get it.  It's the saddest day because I will never have a little 2-year-old daughter again.  It's sad because although the days are long, the years are short and my little girl is growing up.  Although most days I look forward to this, to her not needing constant supervision during supper, to her one day being able to get dressed by herself, to her realizing that it's not a good idea to poke her brother with her whisks before she does it, to her understanding that finding a new towel doesn't mean she should put her old one in the trash can, I do enjoy so much about her being little, even how she proudly discusses her poop.

Sometimes she'll say something, like tonight during a story where she pointed at a bird with two black spots and declared, "That's a cow bird.  See the two black spots?" (because on a previous page I had said "That's a red-winged blackbird.  See the red wing?") that makes me think she's brilliant and knows so much for her mere three years on earth. But other times I think of all the things in the world she has no idea about yet.  Sometimes this is exciting (Someday we'll take her camping!  She's gonna love climbing mountains!) and other times it is terrifying (Someday she'll learn about all the horrible ways humans abuse each other! No!  Let her stay young and innocent forever!).

Birthdays are a reminder of both of those things, the good and the bad, that awaits a child growing up in this world.  But the really neat thing is that we as parents get to go along for the journey.  It's a way to experience the joys and sorrows of childhood, but this time with the equanimity of adulthood.  Having her has been a journey, a project, better than fun.

Here is a picture of us on this day three years ago, right before going to the hospital, before our lives changed forever:

And here are two (long) videos of her this morning, her last morning as a two year old:

To see how much she has changed in a year, here is the video from the day before she turned two:

Facebook

I was sitting on the potty reading a book (favorite part of my day) when a naked Alice burst into my bathroom, pointed at the book, said, "Is that Facebook?" and then ran away.

There is no point to this story.  I just wanted to remember the bizarreness of the moment.

In case you were wondering

 

Alice walked around the house for a bit with this cardboard tube held in her snatchers declaring, "This is my dead armpit!"

Swim party

Alice was invited to one of her classmates' birthday party at a local pool on Saturday.  Initially we had all planned to go but Simon came down with a fever, so Sera stayed home with him and just Alice and I attended.   The party took place in the area around the kiddie pool but Alice and I also took a dip in the regular pool.

For the majority of the time there the kids just played in the water while the parents talked with each other.  Occasionally some interference was necessary (for splashing adults or grabbing toys away from each other) but for the most part the we were able to just hang back.  This is super nice as keeping Alice in line is often a full time effort (although this is less true as she gets older). 

The hosts provided a ton of pool toys for the kids to play with; this was great as Alice is a bit of a hoarder.  She spent much of her time collecting toys and figuring out how to stow them on her body.

There were small picnic tables for the kids to sit at while they ate cake and snacks.  It was pretty cute to see them all sitting together.  There are similar tables in Alice's class so they all knew the drill and didn't try and get up while eating.

There was quite a bit of time between when we arrived and when we cut the cake and I tried to get Alice to come with me into the big pool.  She refused and only asked to go in as the party was winding down.  This wasn't a problem except that the pool was then in shade and Alice was already shivering and getting blue lips. I decided to take her for a short swim anyway. We went into the shallow end of the pool and played around a bit.  This was her first foray into a real pool this year and was in a way experiencing swimming for the first time all over again.  She clung to me at first but did quickly walk around a bit on her own.  Had it been warmer and not towards the end of her energy I would have done more of the swimming lesson stuff (head under water, paddling, etc) but as it was we only tried kicking while I supported her belly.  Even though she was clearly uncomfortable it took a bit of convincing to leave the pool without a meltdown.

Play

It is so fun to watch Alice's imagination and creativity develop.  She is always finding new and interesting (and exasperating and troublesome) ways to play.  

We got a hand-me-down play house from my friend from work, and Alice invited me inside and said, "Mommy, do want some wine?" (because that's what Zac says to Laura when she comes to our house) and gave me an imaginary bottle, with I gratefully accepted and glugged down, even although I do not drink wine.  But she was being such a good hostess and it would have been rude to decline.

"I'm a bug."

The couch cushions provide an infinite variety of play.

At the Children's Museum of Alamance County, Alice showed an increased ability to focus on one activity for a long time.  At places like this, she used to just flit from one thing to another, but now she might stay at one station for a quarter hour.

This sandbox used Kinetic Sand, which had the consistency of brown sugar.  She played here a long time, and so did her mother.

She felt such a sense of accomplishment and joy after climbing to the top of this big tower by herself.  You can really see why it is so important to let children take (perceived) risks and face their fears.

When asked about her trip to the children's museum, she reported that her favorite part was "using tools to hammer a noodle." If I hadn't seen it for myself, that sentence would have been nonsensical.

She took Zac's yellow dishwashing gloves, put them on her feet and said, "Look, I'm a duck."

Shoes on her hands

Shoving all her toys in a bucket of water

Box rides in the back yard

Unable to shove her bucket under the stroller for the trip to the neighborhood pond, she solved the problem by putting it on her head.

Eating pudding on her new (hand-me-down) picnic table.

She put two pretzels into her water bottle during snack time on the hike.

Donuts for Dads

I was invited to Alice's daycare for their fathers day celebration.  The event included singing two songs, watching the morning welcome ceremony, enjoying a breakfast and then going out on the playground.

As seen in previous posts, days like this are a mixed bag.  The kids usually have fun but end up emotionally spent and often in tears.  They are taken out of their normal routine, are forced to adjust their school behavior to accommodate the presence of parents and, as a kicker, are abruptly abandoned as their parents try to get on to work without being too late.  The goodbye can be done with Alice without involving crying by carefully and repeatedly communicating that you will be leaving soon, but it is tricky. 
 
For us parents the difficulty is in have our attention taken in multiple directions as we keep our kids eating and drinking (but not spilling), eating our own food, snapping a few pictures and talking to other parents and teachers all while crammed into tiny seats in rooms way too small to hold so many people. The good part though is to see our kids at school, even if it is altered a bit by us being there.  Having small children around involves constant work and attention to every physical and emotional need.  At school where they spend so much time and are comfortable on their own it is therefore novel to catch a glimpse of them as individuals rather than your children.

Alice went through a few different phases.  At first she was happy and super energetic.  By the time we were sitting for the songs, however, she had turned shy; this is typical.  In two years of birthdays, Thanksgivings, mother's and father's days Sera and I have never once heard Alice sing at school.  This is an activity, we are assured, that she normally happily participates in when we are not around.

She did do really well at the meal though (a plate for us to share with a donut, a donut hole, apple chunks, raisins and grapes).   She ate happily and did not spill her juice while I talked with the parents on either side of us.

After the meal, the group activities were finished and she and I played on the playground.  I warned her several times that I would be leaving soon.  She argued that I should stay longer but without too much trouble or delay I convinced her to give me the customary hug/kiss/"te amo" and I was on my way.

I did forgo the path back to the car next to playground and instead took the long way on the street so as not to push my luck.
-Zac

Interaction

Alice and Simon are starting to develop a little bit more of a relationship.  For example, one day towards the end of supper, Alice was going bonkers and pulling her hair and shaking her head like a crazy woman, and Simon was cracking up laughing.  I told Alice that Simon liked it, so for the next several suppers she would shake her hair around to make him laugh.

Alice's awesome hair after some head-shaking.

Of course, we also force them together occasionally, just because we get a kick out of seeing them together.

Most of their interaction consists of Alice grabbing toys from him, but sometimes she tries to interact with him as a fellow small human being and my heart sings.

Progress

Simon is making some progress in his eating. And he's pretty good at drinking water out of his cup. He still spits a lot of food out, and much of it ends up under his seat.  But sometimes a little bit goes down.  We give him bits of soft fruit, bread, or whatever we're eating that is tiny and soft.  We also give him a lot of frozen peas, which he seems to enjoy.  But do any get swallowed?  That is the mystery.

We always think he eats a lot until we pick him up out of the chair.

Table manners (or lack thereof)

Alice seems to be regressing in her table manners.  Sometimes she is fine, but lately she has reverted back to eating a lot of things with her fingers.  This is possibly because Simon gets to eat everything with his fingers.  I got a book at the library called Fingers, Forks, and Chopsticks thinking it would help Alice with her table manners.  I think it just made them worse, even although I always emphasize the page with the naughty girl eating spaghetti with her fingers at a party while her little friends look on in horror ("That girl is going to time-out!").  Anyway, mealtimes are trying, as we have to constantly monitor her.  At her worst, she may swing her place mat around, throw her silverware or cups on the floor, throw food onto my plate, shove her own plate rudely away, stab the table, use her fork as a lever under her plate, poke her fork tine into the top of her milk cup hole, spontaneously declare that she is done with only half-eaten food and rip her bib off--scattering crumbs everywhere....the list goes on and on.  Eating with her is exhausting.  Sometimes she will behave just fine, but other times she is testing limits and our sanity.

One result of having two kids who make a big foody mess everywhere and detract from our cleaning abilities is that we have recently been invaded by very persistent ants.  I'm honestly surprised they haven't found us sooner, given the quantity of food matter constantly scattered on the floor, tables and counters.  Zac tried several non-deadly ways of keeping the ants out, but they kept finding other ways in so we finally fed them poison.  It was kind of sad seeing them munch to their deaths, but aside from living with them or not living with our children, we decided it was the only solution.

Ants eating poisonous goo

Cars and Convertibles

On our way home from the art museum, we didn't want Alice to fall asleep in the car, (so she could have a real nap at home) so we were trying to carry on a very interactive conversation.  Below is a transcript of part of it:

Sera: Alice, do you see that building?  That's going to be a grocery store!  What are we going to buy there?
Alice: Fruits, and vegetables, and yogurt...
S: Can we buy shoes there?
A: No, you buy shoes at a shoe store.
S: Can we buy books there?
A: No, we get books at a book store.
S: Can we buy a car there?
A: No, we get cars from the parking lot!

Another time, I picked Alice up from daycare, and she was babbling about the roof or the ceiling or something, so we talked a bit about how the roof protects us from rain and sun.  Then I asked her what you call a car without a roof.  She thought for a minute, then said, "A windy-roof car!"  While I was chuckling, she continued to grope around in her brain, and soon the word came to her and she revised her answer: "A convertible!"  The rest of the way home she kept repeating that word, enjoying the sound of it.  Now when we drive somewhere we are always looking for convertibles.